10. Three point five trillion dollars given to committee fighting overspending.
9. President now has to pay $25 for each bag he brings aboard Air Force One.
8. Cut NASA budget so much, next mission is to New Haven, Connecticut.
7. Estimate does not include convenience fee of $3.95.
6. Government is raising the money by sending out a drunk Rip Torn to rob banks.
5. United States pays for Ahmadinejad's tan windbreakers.
4. It allocates five billion dollars for a giant wallet to hold all money.
3. Don't tell him, it's a surprise, but McCain's getting a new Craftmatic adjustable bed.
2. One billion dollars research grant to figure out what the hell iPad does.
1. The naked centerfold of senator-elect Scott Brown.
~ ~ ~
Jay Leno: "The Obama Administration has reversed itself and is now considering moving the trial of the 9/11 terrorists out of Manhattan after protests from Congress and the mayor of New York. ... See, they're going to do an off-Broadway version first, see if people like it. See, then if it does well, then they'll bring it into the city."
Source: U.S. News & World Report