Friday, December 02, 2005

Rules that guys wish women knew

Guys: "We listed them all as number 1 - on purpose"

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

1. Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair. And by then, you are stuck with her.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you do not want to hear.

1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one. Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!

1. No, we do not know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. YES and NO are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

1. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways - and one of the of the ways makes you sad or angry - we meant the other one.

1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer.

1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it is OUR house, I do not understand why MY stuff gets thrown in the closet, attic, basement or worse, the garbage.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

Source: Muse 43

Tags: , , , , ,


Jaimie said...

That's really good. I actually believe all of that-why can't they just tell us all of that themselves?

Deb S. said...

Jaimie, that's a good question. I'll let the guys answer for themselves. C'mon, guys. Don't be shy!

Trucker Bob said...

Where do I start? How about all comments become null and void after 7 days .

See ya in a week.

Dr. Deborah Serani said...

I agree with Jaimie...why can't they just tell us?????


Malik said...

LMBAO! It's all so true. I was laughing about the fat rule, and my wife goes "I thought you liked me a little plump". I say "I wasn't talking about you, huh, wha?!" and I referred her to the rule about "if it can be taken one of two ways..." I'm going to give this list out as a wedding gift.

Jaimie, please, as if men could even get past the first rule without having to endlessly analyze the implications and explain what it DOESN'T mean and relive the history of every problem that you've ever had with your partner over the many years that you've been together. I'd have to clear my calendar for a month just to get halfway through the list. JUST tell you. HA! No thanks. That's why it's called "Rules that guys WISH women knew."

Deb S. said...

Bob: Always the wise guy!

Dr. Deb: I'm sure Jaimie is glad to have you as an ally. :-)

Malik: LOL!!!

Ms. Vickie said...

dcs-Thanks for being suceh a special and wise did your part, you are trying to make certain Bob and I see it the same way and what does he say...all comments become null and void after 7 days. You have it right He is such a wise one. He made certain I read this. You are such a delight my friend, I enjoy your place more each time I stop by.

Shirazi said...

We (men) keep telling them (women) but they don’t seem to be listening you know? World would have been much different if they had heard ;-)

Personally, I wish they knew about the “power” of long hair. I also wish women become mind readers. They can. They can.

Another nice post.

Alina said...

Very funny! True and sad at times, but when you see it put like that, you can only have a big smile on your face.

Deb S. said...

Ms. Vickie: To quote a well known actress - "You like me. You really, really like me." Thanks for your kind words. (Blush) You have raised the bar in terms of how you engage your readers. And Bob is, indeed, a jewel.

Shirazi: Let me get this right. It's not fair to ask men to be mind readers (which I agree with). But you wish that women could be mind readers. Don't you think that's a little contradictory? But wait, you're a man. Never mind. LOL

Seriously, I think many women are quite intuitive. Don't forget that many of us have given birth and raised sons. That in and of itself does not give women license to know how men think. However, some of us (women) do pay attention because we have male children, husbands and male friends.

Some women are like me. My male friends consider me one of the guys. Given all that, however, women will never totally think like men because we're not men. I, for one, celebrate differences of gender.

Malik: I forgot to tell you that I think the rules would make a GREAT wedding present to your friends. You're so thoughtful. Now, ladies, don't start hating me. LOL

Deb S. said...

Kayla: I agree with you. You can't help but smile.

jaimie said...

Ok-Malik has a point. We probably would analyze it to death, but can't they at least try?

Deb S. said...

Jaimie: I have a lot of fun examining the differences between men and women. As far as the "rules," I'm just going to accept them. They are what they are. And, as Malik points out, it is a wish list. Hopefully, we all have had some fun with this one. :-)
Have a great weekend.

Enemy of the Republic said...

Oh, this is choice. My husband thanks you. Now I want to read the one about women.