Guys: "We listed them all as number 1 - on purpose"
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
1. Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair. And by then, you are stuck with her.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you do not want to hear.
1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one. Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!
1. No, we do not know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. YES and NO are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
1. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways - and one of the of the ways makes you sad or angry - we meant the other one.
1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer.
1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it is OUR house, I do not understand why MY stuff gets thrown in the closet, attic, basement or worse, the garbage.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
Source: Muse 43
Tags: Communication, Men and Women, Culture, Relationships, Humor, Media by Sistrunk