David Letterman: "You know, it's interesting what former presidents do when they leave office. George W. Bush is now working as a motivational speaker. ... And if you want to be motivated, who better to turn to than the guy who invaded the wrong country and started a depression?"
Jay Leno: "Lou Dobbs has quit CNN. And here's the weird part: He didn't want to quit, his work visa expired."
Stephen Colbert: "Harry Reid presented the Senate's version of the healthcare bill. It's 2,074 pages, in honor of the year in which they'll pass it."
Source: U.S. News & World Report