Thursday, January 17, 2008

Who reads the news?

A humorous look at newspapers

(The following was sent to me by a friend.)

Who reads the news?

- The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run this country.

- The Washington Post is read by the people who think they run the country.

- The New York Times is read by the people who think they should run this country and who are very good in crossword puzzles.

- USA Today is read by the people who think they ought to run the country but who don't really understand the New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.

- The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country - if they weren't on a freeway, or playing volley ball, or at a Botox appointment or an audition - and if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do it.

- The Boston Globe is read by people whose grandparents used to run the country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.

- The New York Daily News is read by the people who aren't too sure who is running the country and who don't really care as long as they get a seat on the train.

- The Miami Herald is read by the people who are running another country but who need the baseball scores.

- The San Francisco Chronicle is read by the people who aren't sure there is a country or that anyone is running it. But if there is a country and someone is running it, these readers are opposed to all that the leadership stands for.

- The National Inquirer is read by people who are trapped in line at the grocery store.

Author: Unknown

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Ian Lidster said...

I love this Deb. I think I am going to steal it from you, OK. Hilarious and true to this old newspaper guy's heart.

Deb S. said...

Ian: It's true to this journalist's heart, too. Feel free to "steal," my friend.

Alina Popescu said...

Hi Deb! I get my newsletter from NYT each day. Still, that does not apply to me. I think I'm a little out of range :D

Deb S. said...

Alina: I get the NYT newsletters, too. I don't think I should run the country, nor am I good at crossword puzzles. Now, with my dad, that's a different story. The NYT description fits HIM perfectly!

Shirazi said...

Lovely post but let me dare to disagree; I always thought that people who are running the countries (or think they are running the countries) don't read the newspapers ;-)

Deb S. said...

Shirazi: You're right. In the U.S., people who run the country don't read newspapers. They hire people to read newspapers and prepare summaries for them. :-)