Friday, October 14, 2005

Flirt - the easy way

Tracking the evolution of friendship

Yesterday it was "C'mon, baby, light my brain cells." Today it's "Flirt - the easy way." As life would have it, an article on flirting recently appeared on Shirazi's blog, Light Within. Click here to read an intriguing post.

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17 comments:

Ruben said...

There should be a class on flirting. Whenever I try to flirt, I just screw it up and embarrass myself.

Deb S. said...

Ruben, let me share a little secret with you on flirting. Just be yourself. Seriously. Have fun! Don't "try" to flirt. Just be your charming self. :-)

AsianSmiles said...

I agree with you Sis. Just be yourself.

Maintain eye contact, listen and smile a lot, no need to flirt. Else you might end up attracting the wrong type of person (birds of the same feather...)

Ruben, just flash that dashing smile - :)

DCS said...

Hey, AsianSmiles, you're right on all counts. I was going to say something about Ruben's dashing smile. But I didn't. Didn't want him to think I was flirting. ;-)

OK, Ruben. You've got two thumbs up for that smile. BTW, did we mention your gorgeous eyes?

Rose said...

Ahhh, DCS you are flirting. (LOL) I flirt without even knowing it. I think it comes naturally for me....

Shirazi said...

Please go on ladies and gentelman, I am learning! I am learning!

AsianSmiles said...

LOLs. That's so true Sis. I received lots of criticisms in the past about such kinds of remarks; some called it "coy". But I don't see anything wrong about telling the truth and sincerely complimenting others. Cultures and norms vary in every country. For us (filipinos) it is very natural and normal to compliment the attributes of people around us, men and women alike; as long as the compliments are true and sincere. I do not know (yet) how "flirting" is done in america and other nations. And to add to my confusion, there's this thing about body language that can also be construed as flirting.

Nobody gave me a direct answer in the past, so I said to myself, the h*ck with it and just threw compliments left and right (lol).

i guess the question is, when does "complimenting" and some body movements become "flirting"....?

i'm really clueless
(interesting topic & discussion Sis!)

Deb S. said...

AsianSmiles, I can't answer your questions because I am in the same situation as you. Clueless? Hey, that's MY middle name!

It's just my nature to compliment people, men and women, when I admire something about them. Sometimes I get funny looks. Sometimes people think I am trying to be coy. I'm just being me. I am American, but apparently I don't know the "norm" either, whatever it is. Could it be that I am part Filipino??

The body language thing - I'm glad you brought that up. I'm just as "clueless" about that, too. Maybe you and I should co-write a research paper, making sure we do plenty of field research. :-)

Should we include "Mr. I Am Learning" on our team?

Shirazi said...

DCS, I need to learn, honest ;-)

gramyactress@21 said...

I flirt with my eyes and with a smile I believe the smile does the trick everytime.

DCS- you should never say that about a friend. Referring to your friend Mrs. Rose

Rose said...

Here in the USA, we flirt by gently staring at the person and catching their eye and just when they look turn our heads quickly as not to get caught but the person catches us anyway. We also smile at the person we are flirting with. It is not the smile that you give everyone else, its' different I do not know how to explain. Some women bat their eyes, and some overly touch a person. Like a tap on the shoulder or gently swipe their arm or leg. But in Dcs comment about me, as I said I'm guilty of having natural flirtation but not with my employer, that's way off limits. Nothing to gain there. I'm happily married 21 years. But trust me on this, married women will flirt just to see if they still have what it takes. Again, DCS what were you drinking when you wrote that post about me?

Deb S. said...

Rose, word has it that you "switch" when you walk - wearing those flirty hemlines and heels. You'll have to show me how to do that. :-)

Shirazi, don't give me that "I am learning" stuff. You use that "sensitive male" persona all the time to attract babes. You are very subtle about it - smart and very slick. LOL

Tarek said...

But, you know women can not deny that they love flirt. They may hate it sometimes when they feel it is just bluffing ... but they still cannot resist it.

AsianSmiles said...

Sis!

A dear friend and I actually stayed for hours to see this discussion and we really had a nice time talking about the comments. (Try googling "flirting or art of flirting", the results are so entertaining!

Since we do not really have a standard or rules or guidelines on flirting, and since some actions may be just 'natural' or 'cultural', I guess a large part of 'recognizing' flirty moves depends on the opposite sex.

i mean, one girl may be flipping her hair or smiling a lot but if it is not meant to attract attention..... do we still call it flirting?

i do know someone who got slammed (shut off) by a girl when he thought she was flirting with him...

ps. just let me know if we will start the research. Flirt Project. lols

Shirazi said...

I volunteer to be a sample for the study in case any one wants to research this ;-)

Deb S. said...

Tarek Amr,

What you say may be true. But I have found that some of the most notorious flirts are men - and that seems to be true in all cultures. Would you say that is an accurate assessment of men in your culture?

I still believe the most engaging people are those who are comfortable with just being themselves. You are a good example. :-)

Deb S. said...

AsianSmiles, I Googled, as you suggested. Oh, my goodness! I had no idea how much information is out there on the art of flirting. How to flirt with men. How to flirt with women. Flirt.com, Flirt Coach. Who knew??

As for "Project Flirt" - you, Shi, and I have to schedule a conference call or 'Net meeting so that we can get started. I think Tarek Amr would bring a unique perspective to the field research, putting us on the cutting edge of this groundbreaking study.

Grammyactres and Ruben, we'll definitely want to interview you. :-)
Rose, since you're a writer, you can report on our findings.